11/18/2013

Hello! Everyone :) 

I really have no idea if any one reads this anymore but I will be happy in 9 months when I will have this to look back on.  This week I learned a great lesson on doubts...strange I know. Before I left on my mission I just thought that in order to be a missionary you had to be 100% and completely doubtless. I am here to say that this is NOT true. So many times on my mission I have found myself by the edge of my bed praying over and over again to know if the book of mormon is true. At first I was embarrased that I was having to do that. I am a missionary for heaven sakes! I can't have any doubts or curiosity i thought! I have come to learn that doubt followed up by sincere prayer and studying is not something to be ashamed of at all, but this is what makes our testimonies grow the most. The promise in the Book of Mormon isn't like a ticket to the movies, once punched, can't be used again. But this promise is eternal! It can be used over and over. And we WILL receive an answer.
 so this week was crazy ...we decided to fast on friday for lisa to get better...( she has been so sick after having her baby and her baptism date is coming up )  and for evelyn to get her head on straight and really decide if this is something she wants. well...it was the hardest time i have ever had fasting. My testimony sunk to a low that I haven't ever before felt. I was FILLED with ...doubt.  satan was just getting to both of us. we were both so down and our spirit were so depressed. we knelt in prayer and asked for help!  we both felt distinctly to go outside on a walk. ( this was during studies.) so we bundled up and went outside. we walked across the street and there was this man standing outside. his name was maurice. we talked to him for maybe 20 seconds and he told us he wanted to go to church with us on sunday. we left him with a card but we realized when we got back that we didn't have his address or telephone number so we were just going to knock every apartment sunday morninghaha. After this all of our doubt was washed away! We came back in the apartment and studied the part in the New testament where the savior fasts for forty days and forty nights (way longer then we fasted haha) but what hit me the hardest was something it said towards the end. It didn't say that after the savior triumphed and Satan left defeated forever! it said that satan left of a season. FOR A SEASON. The Savior as perfect as He is. He being the Son of God was faced with doubt and temptation not only once but OFTEN. This was such a comfort to me. Doubt is what helps us to grow. the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted and matured into a great oak of understanding!
well..Sunday came...and Maurice called us! he came to church and loved it! he stood up and said in elders quorum that he was loving it and was going to come back ALWAYS! haha we introduced him to the ysa elders and it was way smooth. he is totally getting baptized. This would have NEVER happened if it weren't for yes, DOUBT. It is 100% completley okay to doubt but first like elder Uchtdorf said "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith". Pray, Study, and seek answers.
Then we turn behind us in sacrament meeting and EVELYN and LISA were sitting there looking as happy as ever! they told us that they weren't going to come and then they were there!
We went over later and lisa told us that brother johnson ( her parents home teacher) came and gave her a blessing and she asked him if he would baptize her! Also she asked us how she could get to be a primary teacher hahahaha. yeah she is awesome.